Happy 36th Birthday, Sonja!

The Lord has truly blessed my life by permitting me to be the father of 10 children, 9 of whom were actually born and serving Him today. While there are resemblances among all of them ("You're a Walker, aren't you?"), each of my children is unique. God has designed them that way and I am delighted He has done so.

I love my children. There are likely times when each of them have doubted that fact. I know there were times when I was very young that I doubted my parents loved me, especially my father. But they did and so do I. Each of my children are a precious gift from God and I truly love them.

Furthermore, I do not believe my love is preferential towards any of my offspring. Oh, there will be moments when my attention may be towards one child over another and such moments should and must exist. Wedding days, birthdays, special events such as graduation bring focus upon one specific child and a parent should recognize such moments by placing their attention (and love) solely on the "child of the day". But, and God knows my heart, I do not have more love for any one of my children than I do for the other. I love each of them for who they are and am grateful to God for making them who they are.

With this said, though, I call you back to 1973 when a significant event occurred in my life: I became a father for the first time. At 11:56 a.m. on Saturday, October 6, 1973, little Sonja Renee was born (her mother had her name picked out BEFORE we were even engaged!). Unfortunately, I was not permitted in the delivery room on that date (no one was in those days). Furthermore, I did not get to hold her until the following Wednesday when she and her mother were released from the hospital (no problems-they just kept moms and babies for several days back in 1973). Yet I saw her in her mother's arms and thought she was the most beautiful baby ever born. Her mom was exhausted after the delivery but beaming when she told me we had a daughter. I was so excited, so happy, I felt like crying and shouting all at once.

The birth of each of my subsequent children have had a similar effect on me. In fact, I have been by my wife's side for their births unlike Sonja's. But I must be honest and say there is nothing like seeing your first born child.

It wasn't until we brought Sonja home from the hospital that the responsibility of being a father actually hit me. There were times that responsibility would paralyze me. Learning how to be a father is a difficult task and I fear I failed so many times in Sonja's brief life. She was our first and we wanted nothing to hurt her or harm her. To be honest, I'm certain I over protected her most of her life not only in the physical realm but also the spiritual. Thankfully, the Lord has "loosened me up" a bit over the past 15 years. But, reflecting back on the type of father I was with Sonja, I do regret not having been more "loose" with her as well. Even best intentions are not always best.

But what great memories I have! I remember sitting with a pre-school Sonja in the evenings and helping her learn how to sound out words usually the books of the Bible as practice ("M-a-r-k"). I remember reading "Go Dog, Go" hundreds of times with Sonja pointing at the same pictures over and over again. I remember being so concerned about how 2 1/2 year old Sonja would respond to her newborn brother when he came home from the hospital, only to see her love him and baby him.

I remember Sonja picking up a wiffle ball bat for the first time and stand at the plate as a lefty! She always did everything else as a righthander, including throwing. But she batted lefthanded by her own choosing. I refused to "correct" her stance.

I remember her hitting a home run in her first season in Texas Little League only to have her coach burn her arm with his cigarette after she scored. I remember her always claiming to have been hit by a car in the parking lot of our apartment in New York. I remember her scoring her first soccer goal on a penalty kick only to have it waved off because a teammate was in the box too early. So many great memories because God permitted Sonja to be my daughter.

Most of all, I remember her smile, her laugh, and her sparking eyes as a youngster. Oh, how grateful I am that she still has that smile, that laugh, and those sparkling eyes even now.

So, on her 36th birthday, I want Sonja to know how much her father loves her. I always have and always will. You are my firstborn and I am so proud and grateful for you. You are a beautiful, intelligent, hard working, fun loving daughter who has become a great mom herself. If there have been moments in your life when you believed I did not care for you as much as one of your siblings then I apologize for that has never been and will never be the case. If there have been moments in your life when you thought I was disappointed in you, you are mistaken. You, pumpkin, are precious to me and I believe it would be difficult for any daughter to please her father as much as you have pleased me.

I am grateful, so grateful, that God saved you when you were younger. No one ever deserves salvation, that is certainly clear from Scripture. But, in my heart and eyes, you almost did! My prayer is the Lord would give you many more years of happiness serving Him and that He would permit you to see several generations of YOUR family come to saving faith in Christ.

Happy Birthday, little Sonja Renee. You have been and will always be a blessing to me. I do love you.

Dad