Church Mottos

I happened to notice a couple of mottos for SBC churches in St. Charles County and decided to check out a few more. I'll add the solutions as a comment in a few days. Until then, see if you can match the church with its motto!

1. Loving God and Loving People
2. Faith-Family-Friends
3. We exist to Worship the Triune God, to Edify the Saved, and to Evangelize the Lost
4. A Church to Seek, Connect, and Serve
5. The Church that Preaches What the Bible Teaches
6. A Church Where the Difference is Worth the Distance
7. Christ in You the Hope of Glory
8. Connect with God. Plug into Community. Change the World.
9. A God-Centered Family

Mid-Rivers Baptist Chapel
Refuge Church
Bogey Hills Baptist Church
Ridgecrest Baptist Church
Highland View Baptist Church
Oakridge Baptist Church
Pheasant Point Baptist Church
Fellowship Church
Lakeshore Community Church

Church Bulletins #2

Here's another round of bloopers found in various church bulletins:

1. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

2. Ushers will eat latecomers.

3. The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

4. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

5. The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

6. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 PM. Please use the back door.

7. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

8. The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

9. The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

10. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

Phelps Miracle Finish

For you Olympics/Phelps fans, check out Jeremy's blog. He has a new post with a link to the frame by frame shots of Phelps miracle finish.

Bits and Pieces 1 (Gathered from Here and There)

1. Junk is something you've kept for many years and throw away two weeks before you need it.

2. Its difficult to make ends meet, especially when they keep moving the ends.

3. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

4. We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. (Will Rogers)

5. Before credit cards, we always knew how broke we were.

6. A perfectionist is one who takes great pains--and gives them to others!

7. Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

8. Between the great things we can't do and the little things we won't do, the danger is we shall do nothing at all.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others--you can't live long enough to make all the mistakes yourself!

10. For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

"Class, it's time for Math!"

Since I know so many of my family members love the subject of mathematics, this post should brighten your day. By the way, I did NOT write this (the author is unknown).

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.00. His cost of production is four-fifths of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.00. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price or $80.00. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990: A selfish and inconsiderate logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math in 2005: Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera para $100. El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantos tortillas se puede comprar?

Church Bulletins

Church bulletins are interesting animals. Most contain the order of the worship service. Others contain the words (and notes) to certain hymns. But almost all church bulletins contain announcements specifically addressed to the congregation. From time to time, though, you will find typing errors or incorrectly worded sentences within these announcements which result in some very humerous statements!

The following are some announcements which, most likely, should have been stated somewhat differently. They were forwarded to me some years ago and I thought I would share them with you for a good laugh.

Tuesday, at 4:00 p.m., there sill be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk please come early.

On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The services will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will begin quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Thursday at 5:00 p.m., there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please meet the minister in his study.

Appetite (or loss thereof)

One of our Christian sisters has a blog which details, as she says, "one family's adventures on the food frontier". You will find her describing various edible "delights" she has served to her family. Now, I have always been somewhat of a picky eater (though Debbie has, to some degree, reduced my "pickiness") but I fear most of the food she has listed on her site would never make it into my mouth!

What I am finding interesting, though, is my personal loss of appetite even for those things which I have always enjoyed. I recall both mom and dad talking about this and never could understand how this could happen. But I am experiencing it as well.

For example, bologna sandwiches have always been a part of my diet (I use that term generically of course). Yesterday evening, though, when I opened the fridge to find something to eat, nothing really appealed to me, not even a bologna sandwich. There have been occurrences when I will make such a sandwich or a P & J and then only eat a portion of it because it loses its appear. After browsing the rest of the fridge, I settled on cereal and toast.

I guess the good news in this is I still like cereal and milk as well as burgers and fries! Maybe one of you relatives in the medical field can tell me the reason why "older" folks lose their appetites for food they have always loved. After you provide an explanation perhaps you can also provide a remedy!!!